The other day I was sitting in McConn (my school’s coffee shop) doing homework when I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation at the next table over. It was two guys who were making flippant comments about the book by Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and complaining about not being able to go out with girls because of it. I’ve also heard it largely talked about and made fun of when girls decide that they’re going to just “Date Jesus” for a while, and that’s their excuse for not going out with guys. Well I have just a couple comments.
I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and it has some phenomenal takeaways despite its rather untactful title to get young singles to read it. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s actually read it who didn’t think it had a lot of good pointers.
No, it’s not about lifelong celibacy, dating Jesus, or saving your first kiss for your first boyfriend/girlfriend on your wedding day. It simply gives his thoughts (at the time) on how to keep Christ at the center and glorified in your pursuit of romantic relationships.
I hope to write a full blog on this soon. I would almost bet money that these guys – guys sitting around complaining about how idiotic girls were about this and that they couldn’t get a girlfriend – haven’t even asked the girl for her number or on a date in a way that suggests even an inkling of romantic interest.
Guys, if you like that girl, you find her attractive and fun to be around, you’re “ready” for a relationship, and godly counsel doesn’t hesitate… THEN GO FOR IT for goodness’ sake.
The worst she can say is no and that means one of three things: (1) the challenging pursuit gives you a chance to prove your manhood, (2) you simply needed the rejection to get your focus onto a better fit for you, or (3) her loss! (I recommend starting with number 1 before deciding on number 2).
If our standard for our future boyfriend/fiance/husband is Jesus, we’ll be single for the rest of our lives.
Jesus is fully God and fully man. All of our earthly options for a husband have a fighting chance until the “fully God” part.
That doesn’t mean we have to just “settle” either. God wants us to be loved, respected, fought for, and served by a man who fails, yes, but proves his godly manhood by unfailingly getting back up and growing stronger each time.
Also, another point I want to write a full blog on is this: just because your relationship with God perhaps goes through seasons that seem a little distant or distracted since “he” came into your life doesn’t mean you have to shut him out or break up with him. Our own relationship with God is our own responsibility! If we, ladies, take it out on the guys, then we can’t complain about being single. If we decide that out of all the things going on and distracting us in life, that this guy has to be the one thing booted out, we can’t complain about being single or there being no solid guys out there. There are plenty. One who actually bucks up and pursues you deserves a chance. And so do you, without using the distraction excuse to run and hide.
All in all, guys and girls, we have to put away the self-centered, pointing finger if we really want love. Chances are, it will come quicker when the excuses stop.
What are your observations on dating as a Christian single? Do you have a soapbox like I apparently do?